Style means embracing your ‘flaws’
![[ image: a magic wand for fixing your 'flaws' ]](http://www.thebargainqueen.com/images/magic_wand.gif)
I’ve seen a lot written about how to fix your ‘flaws’, especially in magazines that are supposedly about style. You’d get the impression that if you repair enough of the things that are ‘wrong’ with you, you’ll magically have personal style.
Bull.
Stylish, successful people don’t spend their days smoothing out their imperfections. They’re far too busy being themselves, and living great lives by virtue of doing what works for them.
Most people who do remarkable things are in some way deeply flawed. Are they busy caring that they’re not perfect? Of course not. They’re far too busy getting things done. Perhaps we should all do the same.
If you fix all of your supposed flaws, the best you can become is completely average. Everything that makes anyone special could be seen as a flaw, because anything that makes you different will sometimes cause you problems. The flip side is, every weakness is a strength in the right situation.
For example, two things I’ve been called in my life are stubborn and courageous. They’re actually two ways of looking at the same character trait: when I make up my mind to do something, nothing stops me. I’m mature enough to pick my battles now, but no way is the underlying trait something I should change!
So next time you’re thinking of spending money on self-help books, cellulite creams, Lite ‘N Easy or any of the myriad other products that will help you ‘fix’ yourself, consider this:
Whatever flaw you’re trying to fix is a part of you. Don’t fix it; learn to make the most of it instead.
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one of my many flaws i’ve embraced : Not being able to wear skinny jeans. Hahahaha. damn hips of mine. plus i love to eat. but of course i had to post an ensemble at Bargain Styling just in case I ever fit into one which is NEVER…hehehehe
I agree, flaws are what make us human, and sometimes what we perceive as flaws, are the things that make us great and standout. We should all learn to embrace our flaws, after all, we were all made a certain way for a reason!
dexie, having hips shouldn’t be considered a flaw! I can’t wear skinny jeans either, but mostly I don’t mind having curves.
Besides, when I start complaining that I’ve put on a bit of weight around the thigh area, Mr BQ makes a growling noise and does a pouncing gesture… I think he likes the extra curviness!
Maryam: I couldn’t agree more. I think you even said it better than I did!
Knowing what works for you is key to style. Always look in the mirror and really decide if what you’re wearing works for you. Be honest with yourself, but don’t be cruel. If it doesn’t work and it doesn’t suit you, find something that does and you’ll feel fabulous.
Exactly :)
I’d much rather work with what suits me and move on than waste time trying to fix my ‘flaws’.
thank you for this post - I completely agree! I have only just discovered that for years I have hidden who I really am to be more ‘likeable’. I’m currently trying to re-establish my identity and learn to love my flaws :)
Good luck Anonymous!
I don’t believe anyone has flaws. Everyone is perfect, exactly the way they’re meant to be, because that’s the way they are, and reality can never be any less than perfect. It sounds a little new age, but it gives me a great deal of peace. Especially when I look in the mirror!
Someone once told me “if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to like you?”, and I think that kind of rings true here.
For example, I’m a chubby girl (currently losing weight through sensible eating and excercise, but that’s for health reasons, not to correct a “flaw”) and I will never be skinny, I’ve accepted that, and I always get compliments on how I dress.
Gauri: I completely agree, I hate that idea that we have flaws we ought to fix!
Katt: Congratulations! It’s good that you’ve accepted yourself enough to wear things that look great on you, rather than the alternative of trying to squeeze into styles that only suit skeletons.
I think the media presents curviness as much less desirable than it actually is. I was ‘lucky’ enough to be naturally thin until my mid-20s, but I envied curvier girls the whole time! Now I’m older, curvier and wiser I’m pretty happy with my body, thankfully!